018. My Struggle As A Kidney Patient Part 11 – Second lease of life

Photo by Elly Fairytale on Pexels.com

Anybody who goes through an illness or near death experience, truly understands how precious life is and I am no exception. 

For two years my life was a roller coaster. Physical pain, emotional turmoil combined with compromised quality of life.  I certainly defied death but I was not really living with dialysis, physical handicap and weakness. I just existed.  It all changed with the kidney transplant. My life quality really improved and so did my view of looking at life. 

You get used to the misery of your life. For two years I was in combat mode. My days were filled with dialysis, tests scans, medications, health issues and with the transplant, it all disappeared. Once I was home and adjusting with new kidney my days were empty. It felt weird in a good way. I no longer had to prepare mentally for days of dialysis. It was unbelievable. 

Things started improving even more after three weeks once my stitches were removed. I could move freely and it felt so good. All that weakness and tiredness was gone. I could eat better and drink water! Lots of water. No restrictions! I ate happily and enjoyed food. It was great not to visit hospital every alternate day. That was such a mood lifter. 

I focused on  my physical rehabilitation. I relearned walking, climbing stairs, helping myself up from the floor in case I had a fall. After being chaperoned everywhere for two years, I went on my own for a walk near my house. I stopped every two minutes feeling tired and breathless but it felt  amazing. Independence feels good. I went shopping with my friend and walked around to an extent that she had to ask me to slow down and sit for sometime. It felt great as the last time I had visited a mall, I was on a wheelchair and it was a terrible shopping experience. 

As of today, I cannot walk fast, climb stairs easily and have balancing issues . I get tired easily.I don’t look the same. I have to take heavy medications which plays havoc with your moods and appearance.  I have to avoid crowds but these are small adjustments for the quality of life that I have now.

My attitude toward life has changed a lot. I used to get worked up on small things but now I am much more chilled out. I enjoy the small things in life. Taking a walk in the park, working in my small terrace garden, reading a good book and eating without restrictions. These things sounds very ordinary but my new attitude makes them luxuries that every one should appreciate and enjoy. I am now more empathetic towards people going through tough situations. Biggest learning is value and enjoy your now, you never know when it will taken away from you. 

The emotional healing is much tougher though. There are moments when I suddenly feel that I am on the dialysis bed or waiting for the doctor in the hospital. Sometimes I wake up in the middle night and some of the moments from the hospital plays out in my mind. Its scary! It is not easy to forget.  Five six months after my transplant, Mamata suggested me  to write down my entire journey.  She said it will help people who are going through a life threatening disease and it will also help you to get it out of your system.  It will be like a therapy. I agreed. 

It was not  easy though. I was sceptical if anybody would be interested in my story which was quite dark and gloomy. I started to write and every time I attempted to write, I would end up in tears.In fact, I have cried writing most of these blogs. It is not easy to relive the past but I am happy I did.

I called up people to find out what happened, spoke to my daughter for the unadulterated version of the situations. All this time,I had never bothered to ask anyone what happened during the days I was unconscious. I was amazed at the gravity of the situation. I never realised it as I was unconscious. A lot of information was new for me too. Writing it all down has been a great catharsis. 

I am overwhelmed with all the appreciation and praise I have got from all those who read my blogs. It was wonderful when I received positive comments and messages and asking for the next blog. It made the entire exercise worthwhile.  A big heartfelt  “Thank You” to all for reading my health journey. 

Before I sign off I would like to reiterate “ health is not valued till sickness comes”  I paid a heavy price to realise that and I urge you to learn from my story and take care ! 

PS: 

Many of you have suggested that I should take up writing and I am.  I have set up a Facebook page  called Miracle Moments where I will be publishing blogs on various topics.  Do subscribe to the page. 

Published by Kavita Deo

I am an eternal optimistic person who likes to spread joy with my smile and words. I like to look at the lighter side of life and write about it.

11 thoughts on “018. My Struggle As A Kidney Patient Part 11 – Second lease of life

  1. Do continue to write Kavita, You are really very good at it. And I promise to see every one of them, and leave a comment even if it is just 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Thanks a lot Kavita for sharing what you have been through for last two years. It has been really an eye opener for us to realise the importance of good health.also somehow your blog has made me grow bit spiritual as well, though can’t really explain. And coming to your English, I just fell in love… hats off!!!!…. would surely subscribe to your FB page…lots of love,take care.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I have looked forward to all chapters of this story much like others. It felt like being on a journey with you virtually! Glad this had a happy ending and wish you good health. Cheers to you for continuing to write and lucky for us 😉

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I always will look forward to your blogs as I have definitely a lot to learn from them. Your writing has a lovely flow which keeps the reader intrigued and I think it reflects your simple and positive personality.

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: