I was meaning to call one of my school friends for days but procrastination had better of me.I finally managed to dial her that too at a time I was sure she wouldn’t pick up. In the rush hours of morning! I thought if she has time we will talk or else at least she will know I had thought of her and did call her. Not usual empty promises for me.
As expected she didn’t pick up the phone but returned my call by noon. We started talking as if there was no time had lapsed. We spoke as if we will get each other and we certainly did.
After initial talk on who is doing what and where, she started talking about her life. She shared with me the crisis she faced In last few years with family, health of her husband, money and how tough things were for her. Then she mentioned now she is in a much better space with husband in good health, a son, a good house and a car , her small business and then she said “What else you need in your life? I have everything and I am happy”
Believe me she is the first person I have heard saying that with sincerity and meant every word of it. I am so proud of her.
In the day and age of “I want this!” “I need that” “I don’t have that” “I wished I had it” it was refreshing to hear that.
I spent most of my afternoon thinking about my life in the context of her remark. I have a laundry list of things I want to better and have complaints about – My swollen face due to steroids, my balancing issues and weaker legs due to illness, my daughter wants to be all by herself in her room all day, my inability to lose weight, I could have gone up the corporate ladder had I not fallen sick and few more.
I have more than everything I need in my life and life has been unusually kind to me. Still, instead of being happy about how far I have come I end up beating myself for things I cant do or don’t have. So I decided to apply “what else you need?” and realised I was confusing my wants with my needs.
Two years back I was dependent and wheelchair bound and now I am physically capable to be on my own. Not being able to climb few stairs should hardly be an area where I have to feel bad about myself but I do. There are always elevators and escalators at most of the places. I am perfectly in position to reach the top floor. What else I need?
My real need was to reach the top but my want was I should do so using stairs. There is nothing wrong with the wants but they do end up impacting our well being and we miss the bigger picture.
I am sure many of you reading this may have issues of your own. That is where “what else you need in your life?” becomes a powerful question that you should ask yourself. I applied “what else I need?” to most of my complaints and felt happy after looking at it from need vs wants perspective. I am practicing this regularly and feeling good about myself. Join in!